Hawkes Bay Kingmaker

The start of a mighty quest

The Second

From the memory of Durz, the mighty warrior:

I met my fellow explorers when Laerion the explorer was searching for able bodied people to helm him explore some wilderness. Apparently he had trouble and couldn’t find any useful people. Luckily for him, I, the mighty Durz was available to help. I have ploughed all the fair (and not so fair!) wenches and have nothing left to conquer in this wee hamlet. It was time to make my mark on this world once again and prove to the ancestors that I am worthy to join them in the horde in the sky.

Our first task was to defend a granary. The local wildlife dragged up a man in the form of a wild druid. He said something about getting a fix when I informed him who he had the pleasure of meeting. Perhaps this man can find something to take the edge off since it has been several days since I was last with a wench. If so, he may become a most valuable travelling companion! We also met a strange man wearing girlish robes and mittens. He seemed stoic or shy, but by the horde in the sky, he punches well! Perhaps I can convince him to try a real weapon and swing an axe like a true man…and lose the mittens and perhaps actually wear something that resembles combat wear. In fact, the next bear we find, I shall kill it, offer its soul to the horde and gift it to this Oret fellow. A mighty warrior such as I should lead by example after all.

While gambling, some petty thugs threatened me. Me!?! Fools. I gave them leave to talk for a moment and then decided they obviously wanted the silence of death, and went to give it to them.

Some fool made weeds grow from beneath my feet and by the hells it was a pain to trample through. Still, that is one patch of weeds that will rue ever crossing the path of Durz! A lucky blow from a teacup sized human wounded me. While I was never in any real danger, the scar is mightily impressive and shall serve as yet another reminder of my prowess.

With the granary safe and the town full of conquered wenches behind us, Learion bade us move South to explore the lands and execute the bandits in the area. At last! Real action. The horde shall drown in the blood of vanquished enemies!

We came across a small settlement and were greeted in the proper manner by the local wench. There must be something wrong with her though, because she didn’t seem to understand why I gave her coins. Perhaps she is simply so grateful to see me that she doesn’t require payment? I will pursue this further when I come back.

In the mean time, a sour man with a pleasing interest in slaughter asked for my help to deter some brigands demanding tribute in the form of food. When I suggested the best deterrent was bodies mounted on sharp spikes, he agreed and thus, a deal was struck!

The others saw my fearless example and followed my lead. There was to be a glorious ambush and slaughter! Four bandits, fools that they were, wandered straight into my trap and lo, it was sprung. Unfortunately Learion was unable to catch one man, but we slaughtered three of them and they now serve as a warning for any other lackwits who think to take advantage of a place I am wenching.

For now, it is a good nights rest, possibly some of this fix from the druid, tree man and if I’m lucky, the wench will join me as well. Tis a good night to be Durz!

By Anon

I recall the first time this group of intrepid adventurers came together in full..The four hearty souls that returned from their exhaustive initial foray were flush with excitement from the success they had had. Upon returning to the keep for well deserved rest they met the last soul that would join the origins of the party. An elf, proclaiming to be a wizard, who came with all the foppish attitudes that befits the kind. While some were skeptical with his claims of prowess nonetheless he was welcomed into the fold. Some said later that it appeared the group was finally complete with reference to a glove on the hand. One was over heard stating if that was the case, which one was the finger that best expressed the term F**K you…

The elf came with the name Imajica, tho to this day it sounded more like Brian the Elf. Most peculiar

After loot was traded and bodies recuperated the band set off for the next phase of their mission. A day in they came across a shroom patch. Not that unique by normal opinion, except this particular crop was apprehended by a task of kobolds. Now the thing with Fey, even ones as reprehensible as these, is that they aren’t inherently good or evil. They’re just Fey…

With several options available the outcome was chosen by the bastard barbarian who shooed them off in no uncertain terms. As this point it must be said the barbarian was able to mention the word glorious in every statement he made no matter the context. That and the fact he needed a more appropriate belt for his trousers.

Eventually after days of relative uneventful travels they came across a bandit camp! What could have been a challenge fraught with danger proved instead that the party was more than prepared for such an encounter. After some comical and strange concurrences (The ground they stood on suddenly had the means to fog rapidly) the ensuing fight was brutal but short lived. The elf proved he was useless with a bow (he claimed it was because he wasnt using a long bow but after procuring one he proved he was just as useless with that). The man with mighty mittens proved he was a force to be reckoned with and if enemy blood was evidence of glory then the barbarian had that to excess. Was the fearless leader Learion able to maintain his aura of superiority with this bold show of primal force?

Securing the area to make safe for travelers meant the party found their way back to base with booty and stories for all. There they met a holy man who had a strange symbol above his head. Even with his story as dubious as it was the group accepted a mission presented by the cleric with holy gifts offered if successful. Strange that not long after this encounter the strange symbol changed and greyed out

Heading south this time into areas unknown they came across a hovel lived in by a slightly mad alchemist. He bade them welcome and offered chemical treats if they would ever come across special mushrooms loved by member’s of the Fey. Luckily the eccentric fool failed to notice the accusing looks given to Durz. To his credit he looked slightly abashed by this. Well as much as he was able to.

The last segment of this part of the journey has a thread of controversy sown into it. Out of no where the band stumbled upon an area of plain that was evident of some unnatural power for it was littered with the skeletons of many. Needing to prove to all who was the real alpha Learion, seeing Durz hesitate at this phenomenon bravely set off with the Elf to explore. Suddenly a beast of a critter, its countenance sweating with evil and venom, sprung its trap on the two mortal souls. With a seemingly calm reaction the Leader drew his Great sword and slew the abomination with one mighty blow.

Durz proclaims that the elf bewitched the creature before the KB was landed and therefore undermines the gloriousness compared to his slaying of the bandit leader. The elf was seen to spray colours of magic rainbow at the beast thus weakening it. As the Elf was seen to use this against the bandits only causing them to wet themselves with laughter, this statement is at its present state purely speculative.

End of part deus


Nice update. You earnt us XP! And made me chuckle. :-)

The start of a mighty quest

TIL Imajica is the elvish word for Brian The Elf.

The start of a mighty quest

I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.