Hawkes Bay Kingmaker

And what is behind door number 1???

Door number 2 – 1,000,000

After getting into the Pitaxe kings castle it became obvious just how insane he is (was hahahahahahahaha).

We get in and have to fight legions of defenders because we decided to go in a service entrance which was highly guarded (EVEN AT NIGHT!!!!!) yet the main doors had no guards go figure.

After some brilliant controlling of the fight we managed to rid ourselves of the troublesome guards and search the castle. We finally found the king after going through hundreds of thousands of doors and dispatched him and his pet Naga.

We have now found the shawl and sword we were looking for.

Onwards to victory ……. and beyond!!!

The King is dead Long live the King
Its Oret

I had had enough of waiting at the back. The spell users were making it less than ideal to go and stand toe to toe with the ogers so i went to see if i could strike them from behind.

After a bit of walking and going through MORE doors i managed to find another way into the hall where the enemy were fighting.
There were also many more guards. Thinking it would be foolish to charge at them i decided to snip them with my crossbow.
But before i could let one bolt loose they all surrendered.

After a little chat they showed us a secret door and said that where the king goes for the night.

The floor plan to this place is insane we were greeted with a plethora of doors.

There were doors leading in every direction. The King ( ours ) decided to clear the main floor before venturing down however this did not stop him taking a detour up a flight of stairs at his first possible chance ( yes i smell hypocrisy upon you sir ) we were then attacked by a nasty looking cat thing. Apparently it was nasty but our mage took one look at this nasty cat thing and decided to turn it into a sheep….. A SHEEP and what is worse or better depending on how you look at it the nasty cat thing now thinks she is a Sheep.

I do fear this is not the last we will see of this now Sheep.

Eventually we went down one of the stairwells only to find the king and his pet naga.
I let out some inspiring words to the party to make them hit any target with precise accuracy hopeing to end this fight quick.

Well it didn’t. Hitting, Grappling, Bamphing, Fire, Scrolls, Healing, Pushing, natching of teeth and finally he dies.

He had spent nearly all the kingdoms money on himself and whatever he was after.
His last words were “she did not come for me” we surmise it is the Fey lady that is after the sword. The sword we now have it was in a secret area of his room.

Now i think we need to appoint the old family’s leadership rolls under our command of Pitax at least until we know what and how we are going to deal with this Fey creature that has caused so much grief.

And i need to know if it is her that has been impersonating me and my family and what really happened to my farther.

In which kings fall and the sheep of a nation becomes our nemesis

With little to recommend staying in the same place, I flew over to the Ogre Mage to ensure that it couldn’t simply keep casting spells at us and harming the rest of my friends.

I’m glad I was flying however, as Khan decided to turn the ground beneath me into a hot pool of tar, trapping everybody in the next room in the black, sticky, foul smelling stuff. The Ogre Mage wore more blows from my sword as I called on Iomedae to assist in ending the evil creatures life.

Between my sword, the burning tar and the insane, blind troll attacking as well, we broke the Ogre Mage’s morale and it fled somehow, simply disappearing somewhere before my very eyes.

Turning and looking into what could only be the opulent throne room, there was a large number of Pitax guards looking concerned as I flew towards them.

“Stand down and you’ll live.”

It turns out Imajica had no desire to waste more of his precious arcane energy on mere guards. I flew towards them swinging my sword at the same time, and as I arrived, the whole group of them dropped their weapons and raised their hands in surrender. Imajica clearly has a way with words…

The guards were not able to tell us where the King had gone, but one of them was able to give us the vague direction of a possible secret door.

What followed was a frustrating search through more doors, followed by more doors, frequently hidden behind more secret doors.Our moment of concern showed its face in the upstairs library. While searching through yet more doors (this whole palace needs to be razed to the ground and rebuilt…), Khan felt the unmistakable feeling of somebody watching him and called out.

Weapons ever at the ready in a hostile environment, we turned, looking for the threat. When nothing was forthcoming, it was only Learions clear headed battle training that allowed us to act without being surprised.

Khan was able to identify the creature as a weretiger, even as her blades were finding their way through his armour and into his kidneys.

“More like were…sheep!”

There was an odd mumble from Imajica as his arcane powers came to the fore again, and suddenly, in the place of a menacing humanoid tiger, a sheep stood in her place…

The suprise was total from most of us, except Imajica, who simply laughed in the face of our former enemy.

What we have never, as a group or individually been able to explain afterwards is where the sheep got to. She simply disappeared, with the eerie feeling that our deaths had been fortold…by sheep…

Many more doors and even a few more secret doors were found, but eventually, we found a way down, which Learion swore was the way to go, and for once in the last several hours of searching, Khan and he agreed on a direction.

Down the stairs we marched, with Oret confirming that there was likely the King behind the very door we discovered, along with an unknown female.

With a few seconds to prepare, Io called upon the blessings of Iomedae and we burst through the door, directly into a hail of razor blades being fired from the strange staff King Castruccio Irovetti had been carrying around.

His female companion was some form of snake woman that I had not seen before. She immediately started casting spells and therefore became public enemy number one for everybody except Learion, who continued to focus ALL of his attention (and any of ours he could command) on Irovetti.

The snake woman was quick to go down under the combined fire of everybody in he party, but when Oret attempted to grapple with the King, he simply disappeared. Horrow that he might escape yet again, we frantically looked for any sign of him.

Thankfully, he was as keen to kill us are we were him, and he called us out from beyond the ornate drapes between us and the rest of the room the King inhabited.

A large, natural cavern with a large watery section was found, and the king was waiting for us.more spells led to Oret attempting to grapple the King again, although this time, the King was blind. Irovetti teleported again, past the wall of fire that had been set up behind him into a small semblance of freedom.

He rummaged around in his belongings for something, fished out a scroll, unrolled it and stopped momentarily as he cursed, unable to read it through the magical blindness. A very short time later, the evil King was dead, Iomedae’s blessing thankfully providing the means to defeat him.

Plenty of chests littered this area. It was clearly the treasury. The chests were all empty, Irovetti having bankrupted his kingdom for his own pleasures. We were able to find a final secret door that led into a watery area.

Floating in here was a large piece of cloth, in which, wrapped a fantastic sword. The cloth was identified as our Nereids shawl. The sword? this appeared to be the very sword the Nereid was trying to protect.

With nobody else keen to carry it, I slung it on my hip. It was strange, but it really felt like it belonged there. I think more time will be needed to find out what this sword is capable of.


A strange thing happened whilst in the Fight of Pitax.

In the middle of the combat just a the King showed his face and joined the fight, time seamed to stand still. It felt like an age had passed before it started once more.

I am unsure if it was a spell of an higher being or not for it own amusement but being self aware of ones self and not being able to move or act is a cruel act indeed.

I call this state Limbo.

In which trolls become as common as the garden gnome

Our King had a back up plan…

…I’ve not seen our King have a back up plan before…

…I was momentarily stunned.

Of course, the back up plan was turning into a humming bird and then squeaking out orders, but it was effective none-the-less as he appeared near the back of the corridor I was currently facing off with the marauding guards in.

With my blade now insubstantial, the armour of the men in front of me was suddenly worthless to them as I cleft my way through them. Learion and I took turns thrusting, parrying and riposting (on in Learions case, simply swinging his large sword mightily), rending the life from Villamor Koth, although a lucky blow from my sword hamstrung the man before he could flee from the battle like the coward he so obviously was.

The room beyond was filled with a sparkly cloud that made sight impossible (Khan’s influence on the battle I’m told), so I stumbled forward and eventually we found the last of the guards, silencing him forever.

What followed was an exhaustive search of what felt like hundreds of doors. Imajica found one that was the most important. Well, in this case, it was actually a curtain. Unfortunately, I was in another room initially, but leaving Oret and Learion to dispatch the guards that stumbled upon us (I pity those guards) I made my way to where Imajica had been.

I arrived to find a shape, elf-shaped no less, made entirely of glittering golden flecks. Some form of new magical defence I would assume.

In front of him was two trolls, heavily armoured and looking threatening. Imajica cast another spell I’ve not seen and the front troll simply dropped away into a pit. The horrific crunching noises suggested it wasn’t simply a flat bottom to the pit.

An idea crossed my mind and I taunted the other troll towards my. Apparently, calling their mother Steve offends them. However, this did the trick as the other troll lumbered towards me, intent on crushing my skull. Instead, it slipped and landed in the pit directly on top of the other troll. Even in the midst of battle, this was an amusing sight.

While the noise of combat from Learion and Oret hit its crescendo, our troubles felt like they were only beginning. From across the room, another curtain flung open and a veritable horde of people and trolls waited.

The pit holding two of the trolls disappeared and they found themselves on the floor in front of us. Magic started getting thrown around like I’ve rarely seen, from both the orge (yes, apparently orges can cast spells) and Imajica, Khan and Io. In the midst of so much magical firepower, I simply tried to get in front of Imajica so that he wasn’t able to be hurt by the brutes in front of him.

I’m at a loss to explained what happened then. Colours flew, ash and brimstone erupted, trolls started disappearing, dying or simply going insane from the exposure. The sounds coming from our wizards mouth was almost evil…

Where do they sleep??
Trolls, big old Trolls

The fight with the champion was over nearly before it began a few wacks from the pally and myself and it was good night for him.
It was then just a matter of cleaning up the rest of his men.

After the initial fight we then spread out looking for the king as fast as we could ( there are so many doors this could take some time )

I opened up a set of double doors with two very naked lady’s on a bed.

Looking quite fearful i put them at ease with a “stay put and no body needs to get hurt” in a nice way of course then closed the doors to continue the search.

Listing very carefully we noticed some doors opening and closing behind us the pally, monk and myself took care of the first few with a spell placed by the druid.

Then the pally went off to see what the Mage was up to.

About 18sec later i hear some laughing coming from the other end of the room.
I am told something about stupid trolls and a magical pit of death in the ground – Guess you had to be there.

The laughing stopped soon after when the rest of Pitax showed up including about 10 trolls ?? where do they all sleep???? all of them to kill us and the man himself made an appearance ….

This will end soon one way or the other.

In which a castle looks like it fell through the rabbit hole

The following morning arrived and as per Imajica’s preference, we teleported to the new location under the Cheese and Meat shop then.

We spent a significant amount of time discussing battle places and in particular, times to attack. We finished with attacking at night, while flying and invisible (although the discussion did make me decide to check up on our own guard rotations when I’m back home as Learion seems to think that there are less guards required at night for some reason…which mean we potentially have a lack of guards at night).

Flying over the castle led us towards what looked like the back door for the servants. The other option was a direct attack from the top and neutralising three watch towers at the same time (something we were unlikely to be successful at without setting off the alarm).

It turns out that we might as well have attacked the towers.

The room, a description that only loosely covers the area as it was really more of a murder zone, was only ten foot wide, solid walls on both side with arrow slits at regular intervals and another five foot on the other side of each wall, in which a large number of archers hid, waiting for us.

Long and short of it…Imajica and Khan provided both cover and attack with their spells, Io blessed us while Oret, Learion and I waded through any guards we could find. Of course, this immediately set off the very alarm we were trying to avoid.

A search around the surrounding area led us to believe that the architect must have been changed every few months as there was a plethora of different styles in the building, often mashed together in the same room.

A more thorough search may be required, but at this point in time, guards keep finding us and attacking. We stumbled into a smaller version of the main room in the entrance, but with only three archers in there, they were largely unable to harm us.

The biggest issue arose when Villamor Koth, our adversary from the Rushlight Tournament found us, followed by a large number of guards. The door between us slammed shut after Imajica seared through their ranks with a lightning bolt spell and Io dropped some heavenly fire on the enemy, trapping our King in the other room, by himself!

Luckily, I recognised that the door was actually an illusion and informed the others of this. Of course, when weapons sliced through the door as though it wasn’t there (which of course it wasn’t!), that also provided some clues.

I called upon Iomedae to bless my sword and it has grown insubstantial. I hope that I can get to Khan before he perishes before so many enemies.

The walls are lined with traped people
This guy is mad

We decide to assail the palace at night after much deliberation.
We made ourselves invisible and flew to the palace and quickly decided the roof was a no go due to the three guard towers.
We would have had to take them out at the same time as not to raise the alarm.
There were two entrances one was the main entrance and the second was the tradesman entrance. We went for the latter.

Still invisible the mage unlocked the door with one of his spells and we ventured inside only to be greeted by a small army of men in the walls with arrow slits.
Still invisible one of us took the opportunity to surprise the men in the walls and attacked with spells.
more spells affecting the air , ground , our vision were hurled around impeding their and our movment.
I do not think they know how much they distract me from my craft when they do that.
A minute or so later the alarm had obviously been raised as we quickly tryed to move through the rooms, that by the way look like a mish mash of buildings plastered togeathet by a blind child – we must be in the right place.
Next hallway and again guards in the walls shooting at us.
Is this whole place lined with people? This guy is a mad man.

Again wall guards taken care of – poor guys looks like there is no way in or out for them, cause I’m sure with the party members we have and their amazing abbility to spot the tiniest imperfections they would have spotted any secret openings, if not I would like the maker of secret openings if any to come and do our palace.

We looked in a few more doors then to have the far doors at the end of the corridor to fling open and another small army of men and Pitix"s own champion stand there and declare war upon us. . . Stupid people they should lower their weapons and or fight with us. They are working for a Man that became King on a game of cards,
oh well we raise our weapons and enter into glorious combat.

A Plan so cunning & the Paladin gets some new breasts

With the plan finally decided upon, Imajica made his way to Pitax. When he return he informed us on what had transpired, he had organized us a ship that was dock in the harbor to hide out on. We teleported to the ship, which got us inside Pitax without any hassles, the captain of the ship had also given Imajica a bit of a lead, we needed to follow the smell of cheese, not sure what that meant but at least it was something and i do like cheese so if it turns out to be a dead end hopeful i can get some cheese.

So with our disguises on Roche used his new womanly attributes to get us some info from some of the locals, as we headed on wards we ran into some patrolling guards who informed us that there was a curfew in affect and again Roche managed to sway the guards that he… wait, she really need some cheese and that nothing was going to stand in her way. The guards gave us a bit of leniency and we carried on, with the guards following, guessing they were just keeping an eye on us. The cheese shop was closed but that did not deter Roche and off she went again ( this is one woman i wouldn’t want to mess with) until the owner was awoken from slumber and came down to see what was going on.

With the message whispered in the owners ear, we were let in and shown a room that was used for meetings, and we decided that once we got back to the ship we would teleport back here to discuss our next plan of attack. With our purchase of cheese, some for the guards to show a little gratitude, we made our way back to the ship.

In which plans are made...unmade...made...unmade...etc...

It all seemed so simple. We teleport as close to Pitax as possible, use a hat of disguise to make our way as close to the palace as possible, assault the king, end the threat to our kingdom and be done.

Instead, Imajica made the trip himself, did some scouting (he appears to have gained new spells or skills that he has not previously utilised) of his own. as there was nobody else with him, it was with interest that the rest of us waited for him to return.

He came back bearing some news. He had secured some form of lodging in the harbour with a friendly sea captain, paying for the use of his ship while it was in dock. And there was a slightly unusual addition to that request. One of his so-called travelling companions was to be a woman.

I was unsure why this particular detail was require, other than to cause somebody some discomfort. As it turned out, it was to be MY discomfort as I needed to use my hat of disguise to become a woman.

Once we teleported directly into the ship (neatly getting us inside Pitax, the captain informed Imajica that we should follow the smell of cheese in the city. With no other leads (as the original plan appeared to have been veto’d somehow without my knowing), we made our way into town to find this cheese.

I used my new found feminine wiles to coerce some information out of the local populace. By the time we got the information we needed, dark had fallen and the bells tolled midnight. Again, with little patience to hang around when not required, I immediately starting making my way (dragging the rest of the group in my wake)) towards our destination.

We were held up briefly by the local constabulary (who also helped direct us…maybe being a woman has some additional benefits?) and they then followed us to ensure we were actually going where we said we were.

We were also informed that there was a curfew in effect, and we were in breach of it. Luckily , the guards were easily convinced to leave us alone. The trip towards the cheese and meat shop also took us towards the palace, so at least we also learnt our targets location.

The shop was well closed by midnight, but some lusty calls got us inside, along with the whispered message about following the smell of cheese. A room was made available to us as we were friends of those against the crown (in a manner of speaking), so a decision was made to teleport to this room once we got back to the ship. This would throw off any potential pursuit.

A purchase was made to ensure that the guards were satisfied that we actually bought something. I also made my way over to the guards and shared some of the cheese…it never hurts to thank people…

So all that remains is to wait for Imajica to be in position to teleport us to our secret room, from which we can hopefully make our assault on the King.


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